lessons.

i think i need to take dating lessons. actually, no, i need to.
 for some strange reason, i have a phobia of dating. i'm not a fan of it. at all. i think it would be just lovely to get hitched and not have to worry about this social issue called dating. don't get me wrong, i enjoy going on dates (for the most part). i'm awful, i get asked out on a date and i'm truly excited and then the anxiety kicks in. i search for any excuse to get out of the date (but, i don't because i know that is just plain out rude) also, i just get super stressed over the dumbest things. ex: he hold my hand. i start panicking and come up with ideas on how to break this locking of fingers. i do this even if it is an innocent hand hold. i get freaked out and act weird the rest of the night and usually a few days after that as well. oh, and then you have the dreaded (and, extremely awkward, if i might add) dropping off scene. ugh, i can't express to you how much i hate the infamous 'doorstep scene'.
i just want one lover to date for the rest of my life. one that i love, and he loves me, and we can be awkward together.

any ideas to conquer this bad boy, please share!