a little over a year ago, i packed up my room and left my comfortable life in west jordan, utah to start a new one in logan, utah. yesterday, i made that same journey but in the opposite direction.
i said goodbye to everything i knew; to the comfort of my friends, job, apartment, ward...everything. i left all of that behind to restart my life.
i don't know where i want to be, who i want to be with, or where i am going to go.
actually, scratch that, i do know where i want to be, who i want to be with, and where i am going. but are those things right for me? i don't know. i don't know if i will see the people who have made such an impact on me and who i love so much, ever again. i don't know how this change will effect our relationship. that's one of the things that scares me the most.
for once in my life, i have no plan. i have goals that i have set and i have people who are willing to stand by me to make the necessary change.
i am terrified. i feel like people don't understand how i am feeling inside. when i say that this is one of the scariest things i have had to do, i mean it from the bottom of my heart.
i could have taken the easy road out and continued to live the way i was. to remain who i was and just kept going on and not truly being happy. but instead, i decided to leave it all behind: the people i love and the life i knew, to create a better version of myself and make some drastic changes to my life.
now is the time to focus on myself and my weaknesses--to be patient, trust, and have faith in the lord's plan. these next few months are not going to be easy, but i know with His help and with the help of my friends and family, i can do this.